Your tits are I can't wait for
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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