Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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