Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
