ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
