My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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