whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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