Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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