her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
