Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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