the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
