pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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