We're like a lot better than the average bears
My room smells like vodka and shame
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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