why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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