You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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