Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
