So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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