hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
