No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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