I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
