Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
