God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
