Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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