tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
