Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This is classic penis vs brain.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
