I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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