How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
