Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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