you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
