you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
