Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
