Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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