If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
