i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
