I want to walk on stilts...naked
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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