my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
