So drunk its hurt
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
