Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I look better un-naked...
Michael Bay diarrhea
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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