My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
