Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
