I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
