if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
