i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
