Where did you get a picture of my penis
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
