you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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