he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
