i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
