The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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