He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
