Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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