it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
