How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
