i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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