how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
