She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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