i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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