i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
