That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
