Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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