Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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